INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN..278

    

                                       INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN..278

                                                        Dr K Prabhakar Rao

(Gandhi, Patel and Nehru are seen   traveling in a car in Hyderabad. They are dressed as usual. The car has dark glasses on sides and rear. )

Gandhi.  To day, the climate is very hot. It is strange that in winter too climate is so hot. I am getting restless.

Patel. Bapu. Now what are the plans today?

Gandhi. Nothing fixed yet. To day, I was itching to go around the city and see all garbage dumps.

Nehru. Bapu, Can’t we do some better thing  ? This , you have been doing since long.

Gandhi. Bhai. Look. I brought freedom to this nation. ..

Patel. A small correction Bapu. Please say we brought freedom.

Gandhi. I am sorry, I  mean we. Whenever I say I, it means we. I and we are one and also we and I are one.

Pate. How can it be? If you say I am not hungry does it mean that we are not hungry?  I feel hungry and Jawaharlal too feels hungry even if you do not feel so.

Gandhi. Ohfo. What type of guys you are?

Nehru. We are normal guys as usual.

Gandhi. OK. Now what you want? Do you want to pick up a fight?

Nehru. We can not even dream  to do that. We are after all your slaves.

Gandhi. Please do not be sarcastic. I am hurt.

( The driver gets impatient )

Driver. Bhai. Where do you want to go?

Gandhi. Please first take us to the filthiest place in the city.

Driver. You said that you wanted to do sight seeing.

Gandhi. Yes. This is a sight seeing.

Driver. Hee..heee…heee. Let us go.  I shall take to the old city first.Nothing can be filthier than that place.

( The  car arrives at  Afzal Gunj  bridge crossing and is stopped by a team of traffic  police personnel.   Some  are armed. The moment car stops they surround the car. At every doo one police man stands with an aimed rifle. Gandhi slides down the window and looks outside )

Gandhi. Bhai. What is the matter?

SI.( Angrily ) Hey old man. Get down from the car. All of you get down.

Gandhi. What is the matter?  What we have done?

SI. You car has dark glasses. They have dark blue  films. The films are not allowed.

Gandhi. Bhai. Outside is very hot. We are old buys. We need comfort at this age.

( A constable looks into car and goes to SI )

Constable. Sir. There is no woman in the car. All are males. They are old guys.

SI. Do not take old guys lightly. They are bold too.

Constable. Hee..hee..hee

SI. You will be fined for having the film on the glasses. Please pay fine.

Patel. I am happy that you are saying please. Strange indeed. How much we have to pay.

SI.  Pay now Rs 500/

(SI writes a challan and hands over after receiving the cash from  driver. He also orders constables to pull out the film. Five constables pounce on the car with sharp knives. They pull out Patel and Nehru out from the car. They scratch the glasses and wind shield at rear with sharp knives and partly peel off the film. The glasses develop dirty scratches too. Soon the car looks as if it has been picked up from a scrap yard.)

Driver. Sir, What are you doing? Why this damage is being done. The glasses are spoiled.

SI. Hee..Hee..Hee. You guys will not hear things easily. We gave out warnings in the news papers. You guys did not  care. Be happy. We have not broken glasses. In fcat we can break glasses found with dark films.

Driver. Sir. You have taken fine and damaged vehicle too.  Look, How the seats are torn by  Constables shoes. Eee..ee.. aaaa..

SI. Now pack off from here. Or else I shall book you for fighting with police guys.

By the by who are you guys? Why you are dressed as Gandhi and Nehru? Do beggars travel in cars?

Gandhi. We are not beggars. We are real guys. Look SI Sahib , you are given this uniform for protecting law and order and not for harassing people.

SI. You are talking too much. No pack off from here before I arrest you.

Driver. Let us go sir from here.

( The trio and  driver sit in the car  and drive away while police men laugh loudly.)

SI. Maza Aa gaya . Jokers were they. We have already collected one lakh rupees today from the  film guys.Now let us go and have some tea somewhere.

( The car carrying the trio arrives at  the road behind court and stops)

Gandhi. What a scene here.  I am impressed  with the sight. Look. The  Dirt bins are overflowing with all waste. Everywhere  we find  dogs pulling at the waste. Look, Even rats are there.

Patel. Bapu.  There is a  rotten dead calf too there. Dogs are pulling at it.

Gandhi. What a feast to the  eyes! Ohfo. Now look. There are many guys  emptying the bladders too there.  The road is full of urine streams. This is real India. Patel. Now take some  snaps.

( Patel pulls out his digital camera and takes many snaps. The people who were urinating escape sheepishly. One guy however runs to Patel with raised hand )

Patel, Bahi. Kindly zip up your  pant. You have forgotten to cover up. Plesae do it.

( The guy zips up the trouser and walks to Patel)

Mohan. What is this? Why are you taking photos? Delete the photos.

Patel. Why are you worried?  Why should you pee here? Is this an urinal?

Mohan. Then where we should we pee? There is no urinal around.

Gandhi. What the guy  says is true. His bladder is full. If he does not unease he has to  burst out.

Mohan. In fact I was about to do that.

Gandhi. Bhai. Relax. This is India. Entire country is a garbage dump and pee pot.  Do whatever  is good.

Mohan. Thanks sir. You appear to be honest and good.

Gandhi. That I am.

Mohan. What you will do with these snaps.

Patel. We are going to display these at  international exhibition at New York.  It is titled . Developing countries and problems..

Mohan. But our country has many other problems.

Patel. Bhai. But this pee problem is significant. This has to be solved by an international level study team.

Nehru. Why such high level study?

Patel.  At least on this pretext the officials  go around  foreign countries, study their sanitation, peeing methods and habits and can submit a report.

Gandhi. The  entire project has to be named after a great man.

Patel. Yeah. Why worry. Everything is being named after Rajiv in India. So be it for this too.  The project will get quick funds.

Gandhi. Haa..Haa.

Patel.  Bapu. The  rental time for car is getting over. Let us go.

Gandhi. Sure.

                             ( The trio drive away in the car )

                                  

                                             CURTAIN FALLS