INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN... 225

INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN…225
Dr K Prabhakar Rao

(It is Pakistan and at air port Rawalpindi ( Capital) there is great commotion. Many army senior guys along with PM and President are milling around. There is great security around. Many armored cars with aimed guns are at positions. Gandhi, Patel and Nehru suddenly appear at some corner of the airport and start watching the scene. They are spotted by some security personnel. They rush to the trio alarmed aiming their guns.)

Inspector. (Aiming pistol at Gandhi) Who are you guys? How you are here? You do not look like Pakistanis. I am Jihadi Khan Afghani and my assistant is Loot mar Khan Sindhiwala.

Gandhi. True. First remove Pistol from my face. I am not seeing a pistol for first time. I have hundreds of pistols of Britsh police and army officers when I fought them . We are not Pakistanis and neither do we not want to be. We are not running away too. We are completely unarmed. Look at us. Do we look dangerous? Now listen, we do not belong to any country. Whole world belongs to us. We are world citizens. We have international travel permit from almighty.

Jihadi. Come on guys! Talk some sense. Show me your pass ports with Visa entries.

Nehru. We do not have passports. I already said.

Patel. We can land just like that in any part of the world. We are empowered to do that. ( Does jig shaking hands wildly..eee..eee.. Sings)

Do as you can oh clown and fool
We are now surely in your place
Your whole army would be useless
And surely you would loose the grace

Jihadi. Are you joking with us? How dare you dance and sing!Why are you dancing when I am interrogating you? If you guys do not show valid papers, you will be arrested and will never be let off. You know, there are many Indians in our jails for the last thirty years because they came here as you have come. Many were abducted at borders. Do you want to see them and be with them?

Patel. Iam again telling you that we do not need any documents.

Jihadi. Then you are under arrest. (Looks at his assistant) Look, Loot Mar, Take care of these guys. I have urgent work and I am in PMs Security. You know a VIP from America is landing now. If these guys try to run away shoot them promptly. Have no mercy. We Pakistanis have no mercy on any one. Hope your pistol fires. Do you have sufficient ammunition with you?

Loot Mar. First, I shall loot these guys. They may have some gold. My Pistol is working well. Yesterday only I shot dead three persons near my house. They looked like Indian sympathizers from Pakistan. They did not stop when I asked them. They threw stones at me.

Gandhi. Look Bhai. What we can have? We are very poor. We have only our clothes. If you want, we shall give these too. We are left with undies then. Shall we do that?

Loot mar. No.. No.. Do not do that. By the by, Who are you guys? You look simple guys. What work you have in Pakistan? This is already a broken and chaotic nation. No one knows what happens here. It is all fools paradise. I do not know when Taliban will take over here. Each one is a mad guy here. No one knows when army takes over here. They blackmail Zardari and Jilani everyday.

Gandhi. We heard so.

Loot Mar. Though my name is Loot Mar, I am not that bad. I am from Karachi Sind. I am like Robinhood. I loot and give to poor.

Patel. I see. There are many good guys there. You appear to a good one. May Allah bless you with many promotions? They are also fighting to get separated from Pakistan. Hope they will succeed.

Loot Mar. I wish that day will come soon. I am rotting asa sub Inspector for the last twenty years. We are tired with these guys. Tell me who are you? I shall not disclose to any one.

Gandhi. Look, I am Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, the father of Indian nation, This person is Jawaharlal Nehru and he was the first PM of India. The third one is Sardar Patel, the iron man of India. We came here to see what is happening here. We read in news papers that recently Bin laden was killed by US commandos and Pakistani Army guys did not know any thing. They were caught with their pants down. Hee..heee..haaa..haaa

Loot Mar. I doubt they have their pants on now.heee.heeee

Patel. Hee.Hee

Loot Mar. You guys, Stand behind this large bush and I shall come after some time.

Gandhi. That is fine. We shall not run away. Believe us.

Loot marl. If I do not return after half an hour you may go. I will manage Jihadi Khan.

( Loot Mar Khan goes some where and the trio hide behind a bush. In the mean time, a large plane lands on Tarmac and comes to a halt at terminal. From the plane embark many Americans and Hillary Clinton leads them. She is received by Pak Junta)

Jilani. (Bows low)Welcome Madam, Mere Aka, Welcome to Pakistan. We are obliged by your visit.

Hillary. Thanks dear.

Zardari. (Bowing low) Welcome Madam. Mai bap.We are honored by your presence.

General Kiyani. Welcome Madam, We welcome you to this land, The land of heroes and Martyrs

Hillary. (Within herself.. The land of terrorists., goons, rascals and world mischief makers.) That is good General. You look smart. Have you not retired?

Kiyani. I got three years extension as army Chief.

Hillary. Everything is in your hands. Why only three years General? You could have made yourself Field Marshal. Who stops you? ( Within herself..( In fact you are the boss here.))

Kiyani. Yeah. No one can stop me. But I am modest. That I can do any time. Jis kaa lathi uska Bhains ( Buffalo belongs to the guy who has stick) ( sings and does jig)

I am the master hero here
And I dictate to these men and have fun
These guys can not do any thing
And their fate lies within my gun

At any time I can become the boss
And put these nuts in dark cell
These guys are helpless creatures like worms
And I can make their lives real hell

These guys are like in shallow waters
I can put them to rest when I like
Till these guys have some nice time
Finally they will be put on a sharp spike

I enjoy when fish struggle out of water
Munching chicken I rejoice when they and cry
At last they are quiet and dead on the mat
Then I make a curry out of fish fry

Hillary. We know that you are capable of it. In fact we expect it to happen everyday. As a matter of fact, you guys are more enterprising in action and politicized unlike your counterparts across the borders. They are quiet guys doing left right..left right. Left. About .. turn.. Kadam Tal.. Saj.. Dahne saj.. Khuli line chal, Nikat line chal, Bajoo shastr, Bagal shastr, Salami shastr, sangeen Nikal, Nikal kirch.. Salute.. Samne salute etc. hee..heee..

Kayani. Madam. You are great. You know all the drill commands of our counterparts.

Hillary. We know everything of them. We are Americans and rule world. Any doubts? Koyee shak? Agar shak nahee tho shuroo kar.. haa..haa ( If no doubts are there start..)

Kayani (Laughs loudly) That was nice Madam.. You have great sense of humor too.

( Zardari and Jilani look at each other with a worry. They appear scared. After some time, the VVIPs drive away in a posh cars to the conference hall). They straight away attend the conference without wasting time. In the mean time Gandhi, Nehru and patel enter the room. No one can see them as they have no bodies. They make themselves invisible. They stand behind the VVIP and watch things)

Hillary. Look Gentle men. I have come here on a purpose.

Gnadhi (within himself). Yeah. Otherwise why she should come?

Zardari. We are at your door Madam. What you want us to do?

Hillary. That is so good from you. I am happy that you are ready to co operate with America the mightiest nation in the world. (American anthem is played for few seconds)

Zardari. Madam, In fact, we also expected the President Mr. Obama too.

Hillary. He might also visit soon.

Zardari. Thanks Madam.

Hillary. You guys know that our commandos killed Laden in a quick operation in Pakistan.

Jilani. We know that and we came to know about it after he was killed. Any how, it was grand work. The joker was put to rest after so many years. We are relieved too.

Hillary. Whole world is happy about it except some fools in your country who are un happy that he was executed in his own house within Pakistan. It is a blow to Islam they feel.

Kiyan. Why use that word executed? Word shot dead is better.

Hillary. In fact, President of USA ordered that he should be disposed off if he could not be captured alive. The commandoes captured his dead body after he was shot down like a rat in hole. There was some resistance. Our Navy seals are great. Theya re ruthless. We are proud of them.

Gandhi ( unseen). Yeah. He was killed like a Rat. He was a rat of course dirty rat Hee..hee

Jilani. Who is the person speaking? Only we speak here. Rest will keep mouths shut.

Hillary. OK. That is fine. But you guys always told us that Laden was not in Pakistan. We killed him right in your house. What you can say on this?

Zardari. What we can say now? We maintain that we were not aware of his presence. Kindly pardon us. We are ignorant.

Hillary, How can we believe it?

Kiyani. Madam, I request you to believe it. I beg you. I pray to you. We really do not know. Please listen and believe us.

Patel ( unseen) Haa..haa.. What a lie indeed! Pakis are big liars.

Kiyani. Who is the guy speaking here, that too against us? It was already told that no other guy will speak. Only we shall speak. I am again saying that. I am the army chief. Better know that. I shall skin him alive next time he speaks and I find him. What does he think of himself?.

Hillary. The entire world is laughing at you Mr Zardari. Laden was in your country living right close to your capital and Army academy and you say that you were not knowing. Who shall believe your words?

Zardari. We are at loss Madam. But we are telling truth.

Hillary. I understand, But there is great commotion in our country that you have been cheating us all these years. You took away billions of US dollars and took us for wild goose chase. All these years you have cheated us, You can not be trusted, they say.

Patel. Why did you give the money to these nuts and unfaithful guys all these years?

Zardari. Come on. Who is this guy disturbing us here? Who is he ? Find out. Shoot him immediately.

( The commandos posted look around for strange persons. But no one is there. They settle down).

Hillary. Any how, things are over. The rat has been killed once for all. But some of his deputies are still hiding. Al Zaveri is still absconding. There is another criminal Mullah Omar equally dangerous.

Kiyani. Madam. Please believe us. We shall make all efforts to catch them. Give us chance.

Hillary. We retain the right to strike again, if we know that some important target is available.

Kiyani. That means you are trespassing our sovereignty. After all we are not your slaves.

Hillary. What to do? We can not keep looking like fools when some one is planning to kill our citizens and out friends in other countries sitting here in your country while you close your eyes.. We are not Indians to play Ramdhun and give out Gandhi sermons even when Bombay and Delhi were attacked.. We mean business. We kick and when we kick it will be very hard.

Kiyani. In that case, please give us information, we shall catch them and hand over to you.

Patel . ( Invisible and loudly) Are they fools Kayani? They know that immediately you will hide them. That is why they did not tell you when they killed Laden in your country. Do not think they are fools. You are not the only clever one in the world. Haa..Haa.. Hoo. Hoo. Oh fool. Think wisely atleast once in your life time.

Kiyani ( Gets up from his chair and draws his pistol and cocks it) Come on. Who is that Ba..sta.. son of.. B.. Who is talking like this. I shall remove his skin. I shall drink his blood.( Khoon Peejawunga).. Sar Kaat doonga. ( I shall cut head). Chamdee utar doonga. ( I shall skin him) Kutta Kaun hai tu.. bahar aa. ( you .. dog .. Who are you.?. Come out). I shall make example out of you. Come on.. Come on., Come in front of me if you are bold.. and believe in your god.. Allah ho Akbar…

Patel( Invisible) Look General Kayani. Keep your pistol in your pocket. Do not act like a Bombay film hero Amitabh Bacchan in movies. This is a conference. You can not do any thing. Why are you getting upset at real facts?

Kiyani. Come in to open and speak, you rascal.. if you drank mothers milk… come out.

(Patel does not respond. All is quiet)

Hillary. Some thing is wrong here. Mr Zardari. Have you not made proper security arrangement for this meeting? I think some enemies are in this meeting. They are hiding too. We are scared. I should have brought CIA with me.

Zardari. Madam. This is a very high security area. Not even an ant comes inside.

Hillary. But American Helicopters came in to your country and killed Laden. Ha..haaaa..hee..hee. What security you have? Now I doubt about your nukes and their safety.

Zardari. They are safe at their places. Ok, Madam Let us go ahead with our agenda.

Hillary. Next thing is about your nukes. Are they safe? When you could not make this meeting safe, how we can believe that nukes are safe? Taliban will surely aim at them.

Kiyani. They will take them over our dead bodies.

Patel (Invisible). I am sure Taliban will get them. Keep looking at them. They will have it. Haa..haa..

Kiyani .. You rascal. I shall teach you a lesson.

( Kayani draws his pistol and fires in the direction of voice. The bullet goes through a window and strikes Jihadi Khan the Inspector who is standing outside the window as guard. He dies shouting Ya.. Allah. Mar gaya, Mujhe Jannat Dede ( Oh God Iam killed, Give me heavens) All are scared , Many get up from chairs and run here and there ).

Hillary. Zardari. What is this happening? Your army chief is loosing control over himself. Has he gone crazy and lost mental balance? Are your days numbered?

Zardari. Look Kayani. Please control yourself and do not over act. Are you a police inspector ?

Jilani. No arms were permitted into the hall. Why you brought a pistol.?

Kayani. Iam the army chief. If I can not have my pistol, then who will have it? Will you have?

Zardari. There are commandos too.

Hillary. I am sure you have no control over nukes. Better we take care of them.

Kayani. That you can not do. We are sovereign.

Hillary. We respect it. But it ends when you become a threat to us and others.

Kayani. What will you do?

Hillary. I can not say that. Time will tell you.

Zardari. Hope you again do as you have done to kill Laden.

Hillary. I need not say what we do. We have to save ourselves from mad Taliban and remaining Al Qaeda. Thugs.

Kayani. Madam. This looks like a threat to us. This is not acceptable to us.

Hillary. So be it. Our safety is more important to us than others. Please do not think that we keep looking at things when things get dangerous to us and our future. Americans will be saved at all costs. Long live America ( National anthem of America is played loudly)

Zardari. OK Madam. We shall be careful and co operate with you. Please do not stop aid. We shall go begging. We shall not have anything to eat. We have to sell our clothes. There will be civil war here.

Kayani. I have nothing to say.

Jilani. I also feel same. Please do not stop aid. In fact give us more. Otherwise India will blackmail us. We made all nukes only to scare India and to use against them. Only thing is we are waiting for an opportunity to use them against India. We are in fact itching for that..

Hillary. If you use once, your country will not be there. Indians also will use them.

Kayani. Allah will only decide it who will stay and who will go.

Hillary. Please control emotions my dear friends. I have come here to see that you are on right rack. We need your cooperation in sorting out Taliban and remaining Al Qaeda thieves.

Kayani. We shall see that.

Hillary. Thanks. I think we should call it a day.

Zardari. Madam. There is a lunch after this and later you can fly back. We made excellent Punjabi chicken and Afghan turkey as a special dish. We alos have Pak Biryani and mutton chops. Of course red wine is there.

Hillary. Thanks all of you.

(. Every one stands up. National anthems of Pakistan and America are played)

Gandhi ( Invisible). Look Guys. I am Gandhi and my friends Patel and Nehru were also in the meeting and saw everything. Madam Hillary Clinton. Please do not trust these guys. They will go back on everything. They are liars in fact of first order.

Patel. Better take away all nukes from them and defang them. Deflate them once for all. They have been wagging tails all these years. These guys are behind Bombay attack. All things are being revealed in Hadley trial in USA. Beware of these guys. This is the worlds most dangerous terrorist nation. All terrorists of world are here. They plan all nefarious activities here. Plesae do not trust them. You must brand them accordingly. Declare them as a terrorist nation. Stop all aid to these guys. In fact this country should be dismembered as one of their journalist recommended recently. Better luck to Americans and all. Bye. Bye.

( The trio suddenly make a brief appearance in their skeletal form in front of every one and does jig and vanish from there laughing loudly. Haa..haaaa..hooo.hoo..hoo)

Kayani. Catch them.. Catch them fast. Let them not escape. I shall show them what I am.
I shall hang them. I am Kayani the army chief.. Allah Ho Akbar…

Patel ( from distance) Mr Kayani. Please take care of yourself and your country first. Thanks.. see you.. haa..haa .. We are off…. Mff…mfff…hoo..hooo

(Security guys in hurry surround the area and Hillary is escorted to safety along with Zardari and Jilani. Kayani roams around fuming and fretting with pistol in hand while the body of Jihadi khan is carried away in panic)

CURTAIN FALLS