Thursday, January 29, 2009

INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN XXI

INTO THE PAST WITH PAIN XXI
SCENE XXI
Prof Dr Colonel K Prabhakar Rao (Retired)


( Gandhi is seen sitting in a room and resting on a pillow on the bed. Next to the bed there is a transistor radio and it is playing a song by great singer Surendra in soft voice.)

Bhoola jaa….Bhoola jaaa..
Bhoola jaa jo dekh taa hai…
Jo hai dekhaa bhoola jaaa.
Yaad rakh kar kyaa karega
Ye Tamasha bhoola jaa…

(Gandhi gets up and goes to the window staring into distance with a blank look. He wipes tears with his dhoti. )

In the distance, Surendra BA LLB is seen sitting on a bench in a close- by park and singing with harmonium. Gandhi waves at him

Gandhi. Yeah.. Surendra BA LLB… How are you?

Surendra. Fine Bapu. How are you? Hope your health is fine.

Gandhi. Surendra BA LLB. I understand republic parade this year would be a grand one. Shall we go and see?

Surendra. Bapu. We do not have passes. They will not allow us inside. Sir Please do not address BA LLB when you call me.

Gandhi. Thanks. Do not worry. I shall take care of things

Surendra. That is fine Bapu. Shall I get Saigal also? He was also here just now.

Gandhi. OK. But less his Vat 69 bottle

Surendra. (Laughs in his typical and famous style).. Huh…hua …hua

(Gandhi gets up and gets ready and moves out of the room along with his stick and he is met by Surendra and Saigal. Surendra as usual is dressed in suit while Saigal is dressed in Kurta and pajama. He is carrying harmonium with him. He has a scarf around his head like in movie street singer)

Gandhi. Mr Kundan lal Saigal sahib. Why harmonium now?

Saigal. Bapu. It is part of me.

Surendra. I shall get mine also

Saigal. One is enough. You too can use this

( All of them land up in Delhi and at the entrance to the enclosures, they are stopped by the security staff. There are more police men than visitors.)

Staff. Pass please. Sir Pass please

Gnadhi. Bhai ( Brother) I am father of nation. Bapu. Great Bapu, MK Gandhi . Do I also need pass?

Staff. Sir. Every one

Surendra. Look sir. We do not live on earth. How can we get passes?

Staff. What does it mean? If not on earth, where do you live?

Saigal. In Heavens sir

Staff .( Getting irked up) Please show pass. Others in the line are getting late. If you do not have pass please move to one side

Surendra. Sir. We are dead people. Came from heavens. Wants to see the parade

Staff. If you are dead how are you alive now? You appear to be some funny guys

( The security staff signals others to come there immediately)

Staff. Look These guys are acting funny. Please take care of them

( Gandhi and his friends are taken aside and a fat senior police inspector talks to them)

Inspector. Sir! You appear to be gentle men and old too. Why putting us in discomfort? Understand sir. Without passes, we can let any one enter inside.

Gandhi. Look Inspector. This is our country and our parade by our own men. Why so much fuss?

Inspector. What can we do sir? Terrorists have made life difficult to us.

Gandhi. You appear to be a good police man with good upbringing. Your polite dealing indicates it. I am inspired. May god bless you with many promotions.

Inspector. Thank you very much sir for your compliments and blessings. I am honored sir. But show us passes. Otherwise how can we allow you?

Surendra. Sir. There must be some method of issuing instant passes here

Inspector. Yeah. It is there. But you have to produce some identity. A pass port, ration card, driving license, voters card, PAN card, Electricity bill, Water bill or Telephone bill, or Gun license,

Saigal. How can we have them? We are already dead

Inspector. Sir You are repeating same thing. I am not in a position to help you. If any one can identify you, it is OK

Gandhi. What a fate? All VIPs are already inside. Can you send a word to Man Mohan Singh that I am waiting here to be identified. Inspector . Can’t you identify me? I am your Bapu

Inspector. Police man’s witness is not accepted by law such as evidence act. Sir! He is in hospital and has undergone heart surgery. He is battling for life.

Gandhi Ohf.. Chidambaram must be there along with Mukherjee.

Inspector. Sir they are all big people. We will not be in a position to contact them.

( In the mean time, Field Marshall Cariappa and Sam Manekshaw arrive in a grand cars escorted by security staff. They see Gandhi. They run to him)

Cariappa. Bapu. How are you? What happened? Got stuck!.

Inspector. Sir. You know them so well. Thank god. Problem is solved. Sir You can go inside. But leave the stick here (He takes away the stick and harmoniums)

(Cariappa, Sam Manekshaw, Surendra and Saigal enter the enclosure for guests and are seated. In the mean time they hear the marching tune of Indian army….)

Saare jahhanse atchha Hindosthan hamaara… hamaaaraa…saare..
Ham bulbule hai jiske.. Oh gulsitha hamara… Hamara… Saare jahan se achha.

( They now find Army tanks rolling down Raj path and they lower the guns when they pass Presidential dais without turrets turning towards the dais)

Gandhi. What is this? The turrets are not turning. Do the tanks have fixed turrets now a days?

Sam.. No Bapu. They are not allowing the turrets to aim towards the dais for saluting after President Anwar Sadat of Egypt was killed during the parade by a gunner in a turret.

Surendra. Oh.. That is good.

Saigal. Bapu. Some tanks look so huge. What are these? Are they pill boxes?

Sam. Surendra. They are called Arjun Tanks made by DRDO after three decades of hectic search and research

Gandhi. Hee…heee…hee… Good research by the guys. Look! Guys have to be employed. They need some thing to shout around and tinker around too. Otherwise how can they prove their existence?

Saigal. Bapu. I heard these tanks are good only for parades and keeping in garages and for polishing. They have not faced enemy till date and unlikely to face in future too.

Surendra. Probably never. I heard people call them DODO

Gandhi. What is this DODO?

Surendra. It is a duck looking like Australian land bird that became extinct. A bird without luck too.

Saigal.. Hee…heee….hee

Gnadhi. Then why army must have that duck? Pakistan would shoot them happily with their Al Khalid tanks. I was told they are far superior.

Sam. I have lost touch with army now a days. Army has no much choice. The Tank is literally being forced on them by guys because they have to exist. Who cares for nation?

Surendra. Sir! God helps only those who help themselves

Saigal. How true you said Surendra? Army can only now sing my famous song..


Jab dil hee tootagaya
Ham jeeke kya karenge

Jab dil hee tootgaya

(Gandhi and Surendra sing in chorus )

Cariappa. Sir please quiet sir. This is a parade. One can not sing here

Saigal.. Oh! Sorry sir

( He tightens his scarf over his head. In the mean time, some missiles pass loaded on a truck and trailer. Suddenly the towing tractor ( Actually it is heavy hauling Eight wheeled army truck) gives out black smoke and entire area becomes dark.. There is some confusion around. Suddenly hundreds of commandoes surround the Presidential dias and aim guns in all directions)

Gandhi. I am sure now the EME guys who maintain this tractor would be sacked

Surendra. What is this EME Bapu?

Gandhi. They are Electrical and Mechanical engineers of Army. In Hindi we call them mistries. The Commanding officer of station workshop and the CO of the regiment would be surely sacked for not taking care of their vehicles. Now a days they can never become Brigadiers. Earlier they could never become Colonels.

Saigal. Bapu. You have good knowledge of army. How sad? What they can do? Some thing can go wrong suddenly. Now a days the quality of diesel fuel is so bad. After all they are machines and they are mistries and not Gods. They have to retire and sing..

Dukh ke… Dukh ke
Ab dina beethat naahee..
Dukh ke… Dukh ke…
Naa my kisi kaaa.
Naa koyee meraa…. Aaaain..aain.
Ab kucha soojhata naaahin… more..ye

Sam. Dear Saigal. Please be quiet. You can sing later on.

Saigal.. Ohf.. sorry sir

Sam. That is OK

(Now they find infantry regiments marching to the tunes of song. The soldiers swing arms to and fro lifting to shoulder height)

Gandhi. That is good swinging indeed. They have practiced well.

( Now they find the group of decorated soldiers like Param veer chakras standing on Army jeeps and passing through saluting)

Surendra. Bapu. These are highest decorated soldiers in services

Gandhi. Soon there will be hundreds like this. You know, Now Government gives Ashok Chakras to every guy even if he gets killed without firing a single shot.

Surendra. Then soon even civilians who get killed in various terrorist actions must get that Chakra

Saigal. Soon there will be thousands Ashok Chakras and they need thousands of Jeeps in the parade

Gandhi. No.. NO. All of them may stand on long trailers and would be pulled along.

Surendra. Hee…heee. They may have double Decker trailers.

Cariappa.. Haa.. haa. Good Joke sir. Well said. After some time there is no requirement of infantry regiments parading. Only Chakra holders would be sufficient.

Gandhi.. Haa…haa.haaa.. Heee. Heeee

( Suddenly the first jeep carrying the gallantry award winners breaks down. Its one of the wheel comes off and it topples. All the gallantry award winners fall down. Some are unable to stand up as they sustained fractures. They shout Bachao… Bacho…( Save us) Margaya ( died))

Gandhi. What a sad state? These brave guys are shouting Bachao… bacho… Strange indeed. I now doubt they really did some brave deeds.

Surendra. Bapu. Less said is better. There is no bravery required.

Sam. That is true. I heard there is less of bravery and more of politicking.

Cariappa. Haa…haa. Heee. Hee

Gandhi. Hoo…. Hoo…Look! . There is a crane coming up and trying to lift the jeep

( Suddenly the rope on the crane boom breaks and entire boom falls down with a big thud on the road right across the path of parade. It is a 40 Tonne crane and entire thing gets blocked. The crane boom bends into U shape

(Gandhi. What now? What happens to parade now?)

Sam. Let us see. A good Tamasha

( In the mean time an Army recovery tracked vehicle arrives from some where and as it comes on the road at the middle, its track snaps and as the tank rolls it gets free of the track and stands on bogie wheels. )

Cariappa. Now nothing can be done. EME guys will take hours to join the track and clear the road. I think the parade would be cancelled. How sad?

( There is utter chaos on the parade ground. VIP start leaving. PM and President are taken away in helicopters for safety reasons. All others are left to winds. Suddenly lights go off as power fails in Delhi. There is utter darkness around and no one knows who is next to him)

Gandhi. Is this could be the work of terrorists?

Saigal. No Bapu. It is our failure only.

( In the mean time army fires very light pistol flares into sky to illuminate area and people think that some fighting with terrorists is going on)

Gandhi. Better leave from this place

Sam. How can we go?

Saigal. How about my harmonium? It is with security guys. I have to collect it

Surendra. Come on. Let us run from here

Cariappa. We are too old to run even.

( In the mean time there is a great push of crowd and all of them fall down and people start running over them in great confusion)

Gandhi. Ohf. Mar gaya ( Oh died)

Surendra. Me too. Bapu

Sam. Hai… Where are you Cariappa sir?

Saigal. Bapu. I am here. Please hold my hand.

( All of them some how run out of the enclosure and Saigal tumbles on his harmonium and he lifts it up)

Saigal.. Mil gaya ( Got it). He presses the bellows and starts playing some tune to test it.


Gandhi. Saigal. Come on. Is it time to play the harmonium. I shall never come for such parade in future

Saigal. Me too

Surendra. Me too.

Sam. My Bhi ( Me too)

Cariappa. Neither me

( All of them gather and walk away from the scene holding hands and cursing the parade and the organizers)


Dr K Prabhkar Rao

No comments: